Allow me to write one totally self-indulgent, soul-baring post. I usually don't express things like this, particularly in a public forum, but I guess any post is better than no post, so here goes. (Emily, you're going to make fun of me for how NOT soul-baring this is, and Jon, you're going to make fun of me for putting this all out there :) )
So I started writing this post in order to list the material things that I want (as sinful as that may be) so that when I someday make enough money that my paycheck isn't spent before I receive it, I can refer back to this list and buy the things I want. As I started writing, I realized that so many of the things that I am coveting are not actually material things. I opened a fortune cookie the other day that really struck me in its message: "You gain the stability you desire." I'm not sure when I'll be gaining that stability, but I saved the little slip of paper to give me something to look forward to in my most hair-pulling moments. While I have so much in my life to fulfill me, I am in a place of relative stress and instability where I snap at the people who care about me the most. I'd rather let my feelings out here on this blog that practically nobody reads than keep being a total grumpy pants every time I'm pushed to the edge. Feel free to ignore this emo post, but I thought that maybe putting it all in writing would be therapeutic. And if you feel like helping me in any of the following endeavors, you know where to find me :)
What I Want:
* A home. Not necessarily a place that I own, but a place where I don't always feel like a visitor.
* Opportunities to travel. I haven't been out of the state of Massachusetts since October. October!
* To be done with grad school. True story: I'm starting to have trouble breathing because of the stress.
* On the trivial side of things: an iphone. For awhile I was thinking that I didn't really want one but have come to the realization that iphone technology is the wave of the future.
* A job that pays me adequately given my education, abilities, and dedication. I want enough money so that I don't have to worry about buying a few ingredients for recipes that I will never use again, or an expensive pair of jeans at TJ Maxx.
* For the economy not to suck.
* For my friends to be closer.
* To be organized - physically and mentally.
* French manicures. I pamper myself less than anyone I know. I get my hair cut twice a year at most. I'm going to start getting my nails done.
* Time to do the things I used to do - read, make jewelry, cook, go shopping, spend time with my sister.
* To never feel like I am neglecting someone important.
* A car that I chose and bought, even if it's cheap and used.
* To have the time and energy to be healthier. I'm making strides, but it's a constant struggle to make this a consistent part of my life.
That's all I can think of...for now :)
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3 comments:
I wish you had watched Oprah's Best Life Week! Seriously... right up this blog post's alley.
The overall message: find time for yourself.
I think starting this list is the first step to more fulfillment in your life.
And you'll be outside of MA in April when you come to MD!!!
As an avid iPhone advocate it's only fair that I correct you on the spelling. The 'p' is capitalized...that's what she said.
Glad to see you're focusing on the important parts of that post, boy :)
Yes, I know it's iPhone, forgive me.
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